Since I’ve lost my weight, my family keeps saying to me, "let me know how I can help." I never know what to say to them.

Getting support from others is a real skill. It requires that you first know what you need and second that you know how to solicit help. Many of us expect others to "read our minds." For example, because you are involved in a weight maintenance program you may assume your family knows that you need time on the weekend to exercise. 

Or you may find that you are always telling family members what they are doing "wrong." For example, "Why do you bring ice cream in the house. You know that it’s hard for me to resist?" Two strategies that can help you get the kind of support you are looking for is to clearly define the type of support you need and to ask for the support you are looking for in a positive way. For example, tell your family that it is difficult for you to watch them all eat ice cream in the evening while you are not. Then tell them what is helpful. For example, let them know you like evenings when the family does an activity that is not food centered, for example playing a board game or going for a walk to the park and playing Frisbee or ball. Being positive in your feedback is more likely to elicit the type of help you want to receive. 

For more ideas on how to define the type of support you need and methods for asking how to get this, visit our Building Support Discussion Group. Also plan to attend one of the maintenance classes. People who are sharing your similar situation can provide a "touchstone" against which you check your expectations.